if you cook ,

for me if I cook for someone, it would be nice if they did the dishes and cleaned up, and if they cooked then it would be nice and gentlemanly of me to do the dishes and clean up after the meal. I learned this watching my old unit head , doing dishes after parties and households. I admire and have learned this from him among other wonderful habits. I see cleaning the dishes, and the table, and putting away the sound equipment and chairs after clp as a way of saying thank you for all the work done in preparing the meals, and preparing the talks, music, food, and prayers for christian life programss at SFC and CFC.

I agree cooking is essential to marriage. Between 2 parents their must be enought money to buy groceries, and someone must be able to prepare enough food to feed and keep the couple and their kids alive and strong, so they can continue to serve the lord, without wondering if there is a place to sleep and food to eat for the rest of the day, week, or month.
I hate that feling of scrambling through desks and couches to see if I can round up enough coins to buy something off the dollar menu cause there are no groceries in the fridge. Have you ever had that feeling? Imagine doing that every day, that is when you decide if you are too proud to ask for help. And if help is offered to you are you willing to take it? Or do you say know I dont need help, or you wouldnt like me as a client, or stomp your feet, and cross your arms and say I dont want to change.

I have had assistance in getting to seattle and bethesday so I could participate in conference, and it changed my life both times. If I was too proud to admit it then I would never have heard those prayer sessions, or adoration, or the amazing talks and lessons, or built those friendships. The gifts I offer are prayer, fitness education, nutrition education, music: please ask if you need these or writing. But others have financial blessings and can sponsor people who need money and have a desire for service and god, but just dont have the funds to do it.

Pride will keep you at home, while your friends learn and experience a conference about hope in the lord in dallas, while you sit at home watching tv and doing the same old same old....

so if you want to feed yourself and your wife, and kids, then ask for recipes, learn them, and teach them to your wife and kids....and do the dishes with a full stomach and happy children with a smile on your face.

That is marriage , teamwork, putting food on the table , and preparing the table for the next meal....

courtship: gossip vs love, and what I have learned about courtship since December 2005..

Do you lift people up, or do you lean? Loose lips, sink ships. Gossip is time wasted, when you could be building up a friend instead of poisoning someone else against someone you have a grudge against. If you have a problem with someone go pull them aside and tell them to their face, and settle it like adults.
And when your trying to build up a business, you cant just wait for business to come to you, you have to go out and make it happen. If you are complacent your client will know, and find someone who is better qualified to take care of them. The same goes for men and women and their relationships, weddings, courtships and dating.

------------------

courting translated to me by our leaders in the SFC East Chapter, and from the books I have read like "Boy meets Girl", "how to meet your one true love," and "If you really loved me.", and audio books and cds from catholic singles conferences, and the st joseph cds given to me by joe lao and giovanni perea, and Mr and Ms Randy and Kara Muyargas.

Let us begin with Matthew 6:33

when you want to get to know someone, meet them in a small group setting, obsere them among their friends, family, and when or if you have a chancs to work or serve together. Because then you will see their authentic personality. And if try to pull some crazy angelic stuff out, then their friends and family will call them out-- like since when did you do that for people?

then when your comfortable with each other and have talked you can invite them one on one. but it takes time so be patient. And my advise is dont really start courting someone until you are at least in college and have a strong sense of your self, your goals, dreams for the future, a strong prayer life, and direction. Because if the courting ends you still need to have a life. A relationship should strengthen both of you, not leave you weaker then when you started and met each other.

Men are called to initiate the relationship, and women will be the ones who have the role of accepting the invitation or not. If women want to initiate the relationship, it is ok with the modern age. But if you ask me, they are setting themselves up to be really hurt if they get rejected by the men.

Boys and Men are trained to get told no all the time. So it still hurts us, but that is way we are raised to be ready for. So we pray and discern and we choose one woman at a time to be someone we would want to be in a committed relationship with. Or at least that is how it is supposed to be. Some boys like to have multiple women, tell them they love all of them, and all they really want is intercourse from as many as possible. But that is not news to anybody: those are empty actions filled with a weak sense of self, and not valuing their own body as a gift to their future wife: which leads to adultery and impurity, and guilt and shame.

Men are taught to be pastors to their families, responsible for leading the prayer life, as well as providing shelter, food and as much as they can for the family. Cost of living is high enough these days, that often the extended family or the wife will need to help contribute and in many cases work to support the family.

Back to the topic: Women have a role to play in this as well. Since they have the power to accept or reject an invitation: then it is their decision to spend time with this man who is courting her. Or to gently let him know she does not feel that way about him. But honestly if you know this man to be a good person, and faithful to christ: but maybe he doesn't look like denzel washington then I would give the man 30-60 minutes of your time. Speak with him, and see if their is chemistry, can he make you laugh, cook good food, or just be someone you could be a good friend with. If you never give him a chance to know you, then you may have passed on the best husband that god could ever send to you because you judged him without ever allowing him to be in your midst and have a one on one conversation.

Again this would only be after you have seen him serve in the community, or go to mass regularly, or wherever you have spent time together with your friends and family. Do no judge a man solely on his body, just as you would not want a man who only judged you physically.

Women are lucky in that they may be courted by multiple men at the same time. Kinda like in sports when top recruits and academic honors students get offers from multiple universities. The schools offer different benefits: scholarships, better housing, better lifestyles, better facilities, professors, classrooms. Each man has different gifts and talents, prayers, time and treasure to offer a woman. And as women you get to choose and are allowed and really expected to do your research, pray about it, and dont be so quick to say yes to the first man who courts you....Take your time, enjoy being courted, but when one or multiple men propose to you, then pray about who you really want to spend your life with. Give every faithful man at least one hour to speak with you, and when you are ready then pray together and choose the best husband that god could ever provide for you. But if you are out there on the prowl asking boys out, some will say yes, some say no...but you will always know that you started this relationship, so if it goes bad how will you end it without really hurting this man? And are you really ready to take all that rejection. If you have every played baseball or softball then you will know that getting rejected is common: if you hit 3 out of 10 balls you are a superstar in baseball, and if you hit 1 out of ten balls out of the park as a home run then again that is a hall of fame player because in 500 at bats in a season that is 50 home runs: or greater than any home run hitter ever if you can do that your whole life. Or if your an actor if you book 1 out of every 10 auditions, then you probably dont even have to audition anymore, they just call and ask if you want the role. But most people dont understand how many rejections it takes to make a sale, hit a home run, score a knockout in boxing, hit a hole one on a golf course, get promoted to CEO, buy a house in a competitive market, get the only dress on sale on black friday at 5am in the morning, be voted president of a school or a country....or to become a husband or wife of a king or a queen that is faithful to the lord and will be your partner for life, and golden anniversaries, or through any financial, medical or spiritual distress. Finding that type of partner is worth more than anything to find a love that will sustain you and walk with you, and carry you when you are sick. Finding a woman or man who will love you as christ loves you is a gift from god. As the deer longs for running streams, so I long, so I long, so I long for you.

Me personally I like to know what is inside this woman, what gifts and talents does she possess. What is her prayer life these days, what will she teach my children if we get married. I like to see her eyes when I show up, when she sees me: does she light up, does she smile at me...Do I see a peacefulness in her when we are together, or a great joy that lights up the room because we are near each other....

And after that you need to know how you react with each other's close friends, and family....and if you feel comfortable then you can approach the woman's parents and ask for their blessing before you propose to serve, protect, love, sacrifice and give all of your life for your fiance...

Husbands are called to love their wife as jesus loved the church. And wives are called to accept their husband's leadership because if he has promised and delivered his love to you, then why would you question his motives or his intent to do everything he can to give you the best life possible.

Of course you can disagree, but disagree in a one on one setting. Dont embarass your husband or wife, by emasculating them in front of your families, friends, or even your children. That is humiliating and not a loving way to correct anyone.

Or if necessary then bring in a good counselor you both trust: maybe it is the grandparents, or a brother or sister, or a priest or doctor, a nun whatever it takes for the two of you to have a conversation. You should always pray when you have a disagreement, and then vent your frustrations between each other.

Work like everything depends on your effort, but trust that god will make all your dreams come true...and no matter what the lord will provide all that you ever need, but not always everything you desire. Many of us are guilty of having appetites that are eyes cling on to, but are more than our heart, mind, body, and spirit can handle.

And lastly Bo Sanchez taught me a great prayer: before he ever got married he promised himself and jesus to spend one date a week with his wife forever. And also to plan a date with each of his kids one day a week. God has blessed you with a family to pastor too. So the lord asks you for the sabbath on saturday evening to sunday evening to come join him for mass. And you as pastor to your family should provide at least one hour to each member of your clan each week, especially your wife. Don't give all your time to your kids and work and forget your wife or your husband: that leads to isolation, regrets, and sadly unfaithfulness.

Guard the heart of your partner, and their eyes and minds, and hands. By spending time with them regularly in person, and not just by email, webcam or phone. You should be able to give them a hug, a kiss, or just hold hands or embrace regularly...or somebody else will. Because if you chose a wonderful man or woman, and then you dont spend time with them, someone else will find this kayamanan (treasure) and take care of it while you are busy at work, or whatever your doing.

And let us end with Proverbs Ch31, and the whole entirety of Song of Songs...

go rent a copy of life is beautiful, or ultimate gift, or fireproof....

baseball and my deadline for the clips to stay in my good graces...or to be sent to my doghouse

baseball...oh I thought it was basketball season already...hate the yankees: gotta root for philly: j-roll, howard, hamels, pedro, lee...I sold an insurance policy to greg dobbs a long time ago at auto club, when he was a mariner....go phillies, and the nba is starting tomorrow...lets go clippers :), if they make the playoffs I will stay with them...if they go into the lottery one more time in the next 3 years, then I will choose another team. Now if they trade for a lottery pick that is fine, but if they miss the playoffs even once in the next 3 years,I will choose a new team to root for: likely whoever kevin garnett, or dwight howard is playing for at that time....griiffin will be here for at least 3 or 4 seasons, and if their still lotto with blake, then I am out....

Words given to me this morning at 9:37 am on October 21, 2009...I pray they find a way into hardened hearts

for kids who cannot see doctors now, for people with preexisting conditions that are not allowed to get insurance...for the baby boomer seniors who need care the most in their senior years...for small business that cannot get an affordable group option for their company because they are a small group from 1-50 employees.., for self employed people who can only get super high premiums for their care and their spouse and kids...for the unemployed....

reform is not for the people who can afford and happy with the status quo

reform is for the poor, the ignored, the homeless, and weak, the sick, for the lepers of this generation

saint damien cared for those dropped on an island away from society, reform is for them...as long as we protect the unborn, protect the moral choices of medical workers to abstain from abortion or contraception and euthanasia if their faith tells them that procedure is illegal...then I will support medical reform....and those are changes that need to be made in congress and the senate to the reform bills being voted on...

but this is the first president to make it a priority in his first 100 days, and making it the number 1 issue in america....and a major point in his campaign to get elected...if you dont like it, then present a better solution to the sick, poor, and uninsured victims of america...then I will listen to you....otherwise step aside and stop complaining or go elect someone else the next time..I made my vote for 2 men that wanted to change this country instead of sit on the status quo...obama and biden...I was so happy that biden brings a catholic viewpoint to obama as obama tries to be inclusive of the rest of america who used to be outcasts: the minorities, the poor, homosexuals, immigrants, the mentally ill, the abused, the prisoners, seniors and infants abandoned by their families....

Sensei Ronald Panlilio
I voted for Obama and Biden
I am catholic
And I do not belong to any political party
I pick people who dream of making the country better
I vote for bills and amendments that agree with my faith:


I am pro-life,

I voted against gay marriage,

I am pro-poor,

I voted for affirmative action,

I do not support presidents that fabricate the existance of nuclear weapons and ignore the united nations and take our soldiers to war in foreign nations....

I do not believe in contraception

I do believe the family is under attack in this country

I do believe in Jesus Christ, Mother Mary, God, and the Holy spirit

I cast away satan and all of his demons in this world

I am a sinful man, in thought and action, asking for forgiveness among my brothers and sisters.. For I am not worthy to receive you, but say the word and I shall be healed....

I believe in love, and the audacity of hope, and that love moves us forward to christ

I believe in the theology of the body by pope jp2, and the spreading of it's message by christopher west....

I believe that I can bring 1 million people into a life with christ, before I die, that do not have a life in christ at this moment....

I do not ask what god can do for me, I ask how can I serve the people of God...

I have family all around the globe in peru, china, rome, dubai, the philippines, canada, the united states...and I have friends all over the world: damien spartans, ucla bruins, cgu alumnin, usf alumni, and coworkers over the years....So when americans attack foreign nations they attack my friends and family

I was born in the united states, and my favorite words come from christ, martin luther king jr, john f kennedy, ghandi, confucious, jp2, mother teresa, teresa of avila, damien of molokai, st paul, king david, king solomon, mother mary, my grandparents and my family and close friends, and my brothers and sister in christ...

matthew 6:33
book of ephesians

whatever you do to the least of my brothers, you do unto me....

he came not be served, but to serve those who needed him the most: the abused, the prostitutes, the tax collectors, the outcasts, the lepers, the slaves, the homeless, the mentally ill, the alcoholics, the drug addicts, the gay, the aborted babies and the parents of those aborted babies, the orphans, the hungry, the broken-hearted, the depressed, lonely, obese, and starving, people with HIV and AIDS, women with food disorders, the cancer patients, and paralyzed by stroke, the malnourished by drive thru fast unhealthy food....Jesus came for them, and has been waiting for us to take up our cross and continue to live as he lived.....to wash their feet, give them food, and help them...to welcome the prodigal son, to bring back the lost sheep, and be a good shepherd for the sheep no my voice and I know them.....For his yoke is easy on those who are faithful to his call...

Osta Manyana
Paz, Amor y Alegria
Mahal sayo
take care....
Good Knight..and God Bless
Sweet Dreams and Long Life
Carpe Diem
Sieze the Day, for each day could be your last...
Love your neighbor as you love yourself
Husbands love your wife, as Jesus loved the Church
Do not kill babies or senior citizens
Life begins at conception
Life on earth ends in the grave, but lives on in the memories of people you have touched with your love while you were here on earth for generations to come

Sensei Ronald J.F. Panlilio

3 new things this weekend for me

3 new things this weekend :) I was offered a yellow rasberry: sweet but not as tart as red rasberry....Also went an audition for the first time in years....and I went to my first catholic underground event: it started for in adoration at st victor in hollywood, then two artists performed manuel3.com, and pjkmusic.com. And in between there were cookies, water, tshirts, and 40daysofprayer flyers, as well as cds, and lots of chit chatting outside...A very mixed crowd of ages, ethnicities, and many smiling faces..And I saw bianca serrano there: and I havent seen in her since Randy and Kara's wedding.....usually just try to do 1 new thing a week, so this was a very eye opening weekend....and one kindness baking in the sun: two sisters offered me a it's it ice cream sandwich...very nice of them...stephanie and mona were really friendly....I am sad I was not able to attend the cfc/sfc assembly....that is the first one I have missed since I joined sfc in 2005...

way less texting for me :)

I just decided to use text messaging a lot less, I never used to use them, so I will try to leave more voicemail, cause phones are for people we want to talk to right? If I wanted to write to you I would just use email. The exception being if I am giving an address. Dont get me wrong I love to write and talk with people...but I am not that fond of text messages anymore. But if you prefer to text that is your prerogative. AAAaaawww bobby brown : 1 good song, and then you messed up whitney...so sad....It is sad to become wealthy and famous, and then still feel not so good, or make bad choices like drugs and seeing how the media loves to make you famous for your failures...And they seem to take so mjuch pleasure in seeing people fail....

I guess the most exciting thing for the news is the proclamation of the newest star....and the destruction of the most famous stars.....Does that sell, does that bring ratings...or does it just show how shallow we are....That we take pleasure in seeing someone beloved: crash and burn....

If I ever become famous let it be for something meaningful and uplifiting for others. My fear is to become famous for doing something stupid....:)

job for native tagalog speaker (male) $400 dollars flat

MALE V/O (TAGALOG) / Non-Union / / Male / Asian, Pacific Islander / 25-40
Tagalog Native Speakers with deep, pleasant sounding voices. Sides can be recorded and submitted to entertainmentpowerhousejobs@gmail.com
Rate: $400.00 FLAT

I can request the sides for you if your interested

"let my words be few, jesus I am still in love with you"

pray, discern, believe...then do your best whether your win or lose, let god do the rest, live without regrets and fearlessly proclaim the good news...for you have the armor of god, and the sword that is the word.... observe how one pebble can send ripples through the oceans from one continent to another, and around the earth... "let my words be few, jesus I am still in love with you"

at mass with the bishop, he mentioned that someone with a speech impediment would be healed during that mass, and lately my speech has been impeded by an involuntary muscle spasm, I hope the bishop was talking abouy my ability to speak...without biting or grinding, or pain in my mouth

spoon@table.edu by ronald panlilio

Spoon@Table.edu

Massage the table with butter, olive oil, and, a towel and flour. Knead the table and push the ingredients to all edges of the table until it is soaked and thoroughly ready for a washing. Beads of sweat are all over the table and they stand like raindrops upon the surface.

Bring a fresh towel with clean tap water and refresh the table. A soft tablecloth should be placed over the table while the food is being cooked. A broth or soup filled with the best ingredients and aromas should percalate the room and give life to the air.

A solid sequoia spoon would be best, but any sturdy wood will suffice. Some prefer metals and in case of metal stainless or sterling is usually preferred. Please no rust in the soup.

The soup should have meat, veggies, spices, citrus drops, sugar, and anything else like grains that would help create a wonderful meal for the guests. The amount of soup will carry the day and lead to a long or short meal. It is always possible to add more salt and water to the soup if necessary.

Slowly stir the soup and let the bubbles rise to the surface, bit by bit. The steam on the edge of the spoon handle gives the smell and feeling that is necessary to know that the meal is ready and that the table can be given the food.

The table has to be prepared for an excellent meal. It is necessary to have a colorful cotton cloth that is soft and water resistant and helps the table absorb moisture. In case the soup is spilled. Sometimes the ladle will drip bits of soup during the meal. It is vital that the table will not be wrecked by the soup. A stain is very possible but it is easy to clean with soap, water and a laundry machine.

After a full meal it is necessary to rest and recover so that it is possible to eat again. Keep the table in the best condition and it will always be possible to eat whenever necessary. It might be necessary to prep the table again before eating, but it is such an easy process that it is fun to prepare the table for meals.

The effect of such a soup, table, ladle and sweat can provide wondrous results for the bodies involved. Anybody that eats such a meal will feel that they can accomplish anything that they need to accomplish that day. I live for the day when the spoon can stir a soup so tenderly for a special meal such that would bring me to a peak of joyous exercise and miraculous moments of satisfaction and pleasure for a day well done and fully acceptable to the Lord.

I always enjoy meals because they are the basis for motivation and survival. Food on the table is a blessing for all people that eat of such sultry and tasty wonders. I pray for meals that inspire me to appreciate effort, work, and rest.

by Ronald Panlilio

thoughts on public education

Thoughts on Education, by Sensei Ronald Panlilio Thoughts on education got to get this stuff out before I forget it all Teachers do not get paid enough for the hours and commitment they need to make, problems is some do not make the necessary commitment to love those children as if they were their own. If education is to be a top priority then they should be paid as much as we pay our entertainers and our creators of culture and products. Children are the most important resource we have, and they need to be protected and guided through their early years. So in the stead of parents who are busying generating income for their families we must have teachers that are willing to care for these children as if they were parents of those children. The only way to attract the best teachers is to pay them what they are worth. If you do not pay them enough to care for their own families then how can you expect them to make their students a top priority. Besides pay teachers need resources and support of the administration the community and the parents. They need involvement on all levels for there to be effective education. If the teachers are abandoned and alone then they will be defensive instead of proactive and leaders within their own room. If the teachers are happy then the students will be calmer and confident about themselves. It is reciprocal, the students feed the teacher and the teacher feeds the student. The teacher needs to pass on their expertise and also learn from the students because they have some knowledge and experiences that the teacher has never seen or felt regardless of age. There will always be reasons to share and continue to learn, if their is nothing more to teach then the student and teacher must seperate find new experiences then come back and share them with each other again. Learning must be continuous. Tenure is an awful thing as well because it creates lazy teachers. If there is no chance for losing your job then there is no reason to work harder to improve yourself. This applies to principals and teachers and students. If students do not work they should fail, and eventually be forced to leave school if they do not want to participate. If administrators cannot manage the money and resources of the school in a healthy way to maximize opportunities for the teachers and students then they should be removed from their position. If teachers continually have negative responses from students and parents then they should be removed or at least moved to a different position. If students and parents do not like the results then they need to seek new and better teachers. Longevity should not determine pay. Just cause you do something a long time does not mean you are good at it. Now if you put in many good years of service as a student, teacher or administrator then you should be protected in your old age, because if you do not stay sharp you may lose some of your skills and need assistance whether that assistance is physical, financial, mental, or spiritual depends on the needs of the person. And it is not just an age thing, everyone has needs and strengths at different times. But to get the most from our schools and our children we must utilize the strengths of our business and we must pool our talents to pick up for the weaknesses we may posess as individuals. Each school is a team, each class is a team and it must be treated like that. The best teams coordinate their talents towards one goal, the problem with schools is that everyone has different goals. I believe the main goal for schools should be to maximize the talents of each student and give them time to nurture their individual talents in a supportive environment. Not everyone is going to be good at reading and math, but those are basic skills that will help in most situations. Each student must study as hard as possible to learn all the knowledge that they want to know. And they must be exposed to as much information as possible so they can decide what they think will best serve them in life. Every skill and muscle needs to be trained and developed, stimulated at different rates otherwise the skill or the muscle will atrophy and you will lose some of those talents. You can use tools to accentuate those skills at times or to help in the learning process, but each individual needs those at different times and for different purposes. You need to seek people that have those skills and that knowledge. Those people may be living or dead, near or far. You can talk to them, read their books, watch them, listen to them, touch them, think about them, but you must seek them out if you wish to attain any of their knowledge. Each moment and each thought is special and part of the growing process. I have always believed that I could always learn more and always improve, always adapt to new situations if given guidance, opportunities or necessities or desire to learn. The only limits are the ones we put on ourselves through experience. Sadly other people try to put limits on other people because they have found those to be their limits. You can warn other people of the limits you have found, and if they trust you they will use those as a guideline. But if they do not trust you they will do whatever they please because they do not believe you usually because your words and your actions are contradictory.

"blazing daze and stormy knights" a short story by Sensei Ronald Panlilio

A unique summer in Los Angeles energizes me. Every summer until 1998 was the same, ever full of sun, dry heat and lazy days that dominate the landscape of southern california. This year, trucks drop lemons on the freeway outside my house. A sweet aroma eminates as they are crushed by the trucks and cars that slow down as they pass, carefully squeezing the juice into the air.

Lightning showers extend from LAX to riverside on my way home from the airport. Purple, yellow, blue and white flashes come and go in the absence of thunder. The crackling strings of light remind me of the dazzling lightning I used to draw on my folders in school, when I used to wear maui&sons shorts and T-shirts. Lightning showers often hover over the La Verne horizon, but never stretched all the way to the coast like tonight. When I reach my home in San Dimas, I faintly hear rumblings of thunder. My dog was not scared, so the thunder was far from me. The heat continued into the night, occasional rain droplets fell within the lightning storm. In the middle of the storm, I reveled in nature`s awesome display of anger and change. The lightning lit a blaze that burned for hours in Riverside.

Los Angeles was humid today. After 25 years of dry heat, I felt as though I was in the tropical Philippines or on the east coast of Florida again. I spend most of my days in Eastern San Gabriel Valley.

Little wonder that my area has peculiar weather. A few years ago when I was an undergrad at UCLA, the San Dimas post office was covered by a thin sheet of snow. The pictures still hang in the post office, and that is the only reason I believe the stories. Today a tornado watch centers in Pomona headed west towards Whittier and Montebello. I wonder if it will swing north by my home. The world seems upside down this year. The stormy events of the last days are the culmination of a summer filled with rainy days like never before. Of course the weather forecasters incorrectly predicted flooding this summer, but we definitely had rain, and a generally colder, murky summer. El nino, the name given to the weather this year, brought us a climate never seen by these eyes before.

In grade school, more than 10 years ago, winds of change came to town. The giant palm trees in the church were blown down. All kinds of debris were blown past the doors to my classroom, and past us while we drove on the street. That is why I studied tornados for my 8th grade science project and made one with a glass box, and some heated water vapor. My air conditioner produces the same wild moving vapor on these stormy days if I leave my window open. I assume the heat of the air conditioner or the engine is creating vapor which blows through my a/c. At first I feared that smoke was coming from the engine, but there was no smell for this visible air. After having a cylinder crack in my old sky blue `83 Accord in 1993, I was not taking any chances with this car. The last time I saw smoke in a car, it was flowing like a giant grey wall behind me, and out of the gaps in the front hood. I was so embarassed to be put-putting my pathetic car through downtown Berkeley looking for a place to park or a gas station to bury my dying car. So I immediately slowed, clicked of the a/c and felt better when the vapor subsided.

Speaking of burning cars, I have to thank my guardian angel for showing my friend Matt Yeazel the sparks coming from his hood when I was in high school. I was sleeping on my way home from a long debate tournament. I hear "wake up Ron, wake up, the car is burning." We are all freaking out as we are actually on the offramp to our houses only a few miles from that spot. We pulled over, and the four of us jump out of the car. Matt frantically curses and horridly watches his car start to burn from the front end near the windshield. The flames grew and engulfed the whole front hood and torched the dashboard and windshield. There were no explosions that I remember, but there were a lot of sparks and flames. I don`t remember if I was laughing then. But every time after that I think of it I bust up. A few months later, Matt backed into a station wagon while I was in his mom`s minivan. He doesn`t like to give me rides anymore, he likens me to the black plague when I am a passenger in his car.

This year, a couple of people died in a way I never imagined would happen to anyone. A giant tree in Claremont was uprooted during a windy, rainy day and collapsed on their car while they were stopped at the intersection. That is an awful way to perish. I hope they died quickly, I wonder what they must have been thinking as or after it happened. Gruesomely, I cannot help but giggle a little, because it just seems so absurd. It forces me to stay alert while driving through sleepy Claremont on my way to the university.

The Angels are in the thick of things for the playoffs in September. They actually have a legitimate chance of competing this year after beating some of the top teams in the AL. I have been an angel fan for a long time, because anaheim stadium is closer than dodger stadium. Then there is Mcgwire, my Damien high school alumni, and Sosa who are crushing balls out of major league parks. This is definitely a special summer. Not to mention me getting into graduate school a few months before summer began. Many odd, and good things have happened this year. This is definitely not an ordinary day. What lies ahead?

Flash Forward to the spring of 99, or shall we say the late winter. Mark and Sammy are still crushing balls in Florida and Arizona before the season starts. The NBA has had the first strike ever, timely since the most dominant player ever decides to leave. He is gone so the league reverently shuts its doors for a few months to honor him. None of the owners want to pay to open the buildings since their current rosters won`t fill the stadiums like the old Bulls used to, or get the ratings that a dynasty can bring to television.

Speaking of that late winter, talk about freaky weather. It is snowing west of Mount Baldy. Unheard of, people skiing in Snow Summit in April. I have heard of May showers, but not snow in southern Cali in the springtime. Easter snow, how refreshing. Arrowhead Lake celebrates Easter with snowball fights. Guess hell is freezing over as we head into the millenium.

The worst part about this amazing spring is that I am spending it alone. I have no love of my life to get freaky with this spring as we head into Y2k, armaggeddon, apocalypse or the best damn new year`s party ever. I wish I had a cuddly lady to hang out with for what may be the last mating season ever

Life will go on, but it would be tremendous to have a baby born on the millenium. Guess I am just in a baby-makin mood. Play me a little Barry White please.

Unique weather seems to bring out all the special things in life. I will remember the rain storms, the spring snow, the tornadoes, snow in San Gabriel Valley. All the freaks of nature that hit my hometown in East San Gabriel Valley. Home of the archangel Gabriel watching over us between the Big Bear Mountains and the smoggy downtown 10 freeway. This is probably the first spring I can remember it being colder in Los Angeles than in New York because of the cold fronts and warm fronts and wind currents blowing as they are. The end of the century is going out in style. A blaze of glory, snow, and rain pours down.

I assume this summer may be the hottest ever. I would not be surprised if the continents shift a couple of inches. A cleansing of the earth before time starts anew. Mother Earth reborn, preparing and watching as governments decide on whether or not they will bring another land war to bloody the fields of Yugoslavia in the name of freedom, land acquisition, democracy, technological military prowess(we didn`t build the stealth bombers for nothing ) and financial gain.

Earth is ready to be reborn and start a new millenium. Will we build a new heaven on earth? Our best and brightest singers are preaching of angels and prayer, spirituality and love. Or will we destroy it before the new millenium ever starts? It is in our hands.

julia, ever fair

Julia, ever fair

Julia ever fair,

golden brown tressels of flowing auburn hair

covered in a blue wig until rescued by Gere

a radiant smile that warms the heart

as if we should feel strongly the emotions she brought.

A wonder, the highest paid artist in all the land,

where never before have women stood before man

now a bright beacon bringing light to the fables and stories

from the screen to the seats filled with popcorn and glory

then travelling home after two hours engrossed in her play

now I sleep with the dream of meeting someday.

Probably never will but with that smile pulling me in

I dont mind dropping coins on the next feature or spin

Thank you, Julia for brightening the day

for sharing your soul in a kind, nurturing way.

An actors' great role

is to touch other souls,

let me tell you true

that I am thankful for you.

more on julia roberts at

http://www.juliarobertsonline.com

fanmail address

Ms. Julia Roberts
C/O International Creative Management 8942 Wilshire Blvd. Beverly Hills, CA 90211 USA

light shatters the darkness

Light Shatters the Darkness

light shatters the darkness

every road leads back home

over long rivers and streams

in the face of hatred and fury

in a cloud of smoke the towers fall

to reveal a new terror

how shall we be

heroes lift us up, though loved ones fall

do we forget what we are because of fear

centuries of hatred, injustice and pain

a light shines the way

so we are reborn

when your filled with hate

your life will be lonely and hard

for only love can unite the family of god

light shatters the darkness

every road leads back home

never forget to defend the love

and the strength that lifted the cross upon calvary

after years of peace a new threat arises

mongers wage war and try to inspire a fight

that can never be won

bloodshed will never justify death and destruction

only peace can bring change

towers can be rebuilt

fortunes amassed, and revival of the sick

but only in peace

defend the cross till you die

if you bring destruction only death will arrive

disease bring forths healing

light shatters the darkness

every road leads back home

bless me holy mother

give me new life

show me a road that leads me back to your arms

where angels fly

light shatters the darkness

every road leads back home

the world opens up in front of me

	yeah right before my very eyes
	the world opens up in front of me,
	I remember when;
	I had peace and harmony,
	and after troubles so long
	I find I return, and it finds me.
	ooo, when I go-
	release all the energy in me.
	the people give me stress,
	institutions try to break me.
	and well I wonder why
	I know that this world's not wanting me.
	so hear in my mind
	I act, I rebel, I take what's for me.
	Oh sometimes I forget,
	that nothing is ever handed to me.
	No, people like me have to fight for what they want.
	Oh the world has been set up killin my fathers and what?
	I cant expect the world to give
	some of their surplus goods to me.
	But the world opens up in front of me...
	Somedays I find my path and I see:
	that if I fight hard enough.
	I can reach the goals in front of me.
	people may make my road
	longer than I thought that it would be.
	well let me tell you so
	I wont quit, I am fighting here I go.
	I will never be stopped
	just slowed, oh a doubt, oh here I go...
	I believe and the world just talks to me,
	natural wonders and animals they feed me.
	and I know that the world in itself is not wrong-
	just the institutions that people create to put you down.
	those things those untouchable forces of will
	they make laws and they try to break your will.
	you have to believe cause when its your turn;
	you'll be able to change every rule, law and word.
	And now I believe that I can change this world
	one by one I will reach the hearts in front of me.
	I teach and I learn and I want to be.
	I strive, never forget who I am inside of me
	The world opens up in front of me...
	I wonder, I dream, and I never forget
	that the deeds of myself will not so soon forget.
	You know I will take what belongs to me.
	Oh I feel that this world was meant for me.
	my time here is not wasted
	I am supposed to be
	and until I die
	(music)
I fight on this fight
the people and the forces:
the buildings, the laws, institutions of-
this world, governments, businesses believe they're strong.
but each man has a will to change the world.
through the people he knows he can mobilize,
and if not this whole world
he can change that world of his,
even if the change is only locally.
but cha know if it is local,
it will be global soon
if you can do it in your city,
in your schools, in your home.
if you do and your neighbors copy you.
if you do and their friends they mimic you.
they believe and together
change comes so slow,
but one by one
you take steps
and you go, oh, oh...
the world opens up in front of me.
by the end of my life
this world will be:
better than the world i arrived in.
yes better than world if there was none of me.
yes better than before because I choose to believe:
that I have a strength that moves mountains,
oh I have love that moves people,
oh I have a confidence in worlds,
oh I have this belief
that I'll never stop...
oh I always believed I would lead them.
I always believed some day it'd be my turn.
so I watch the people I love
and I lead them....

Stardust

	Stardust and Galaxys within: pushed in, closed shut utter darkness takes comfort, and position among the sparkling particles of light and matter. then the world fades away in a sea of tears and bright colors. Escape? Who would be with you, and where would you go? every detail to you whims but no one to share and enjoy. A universe and a galaxy merge to create one, the crossover is not complete but it is possible. A new star emerges from the fusion of two willing and accepting parties. Connection is a blur: painful/wonderful and constant in the absence of another the glow fades, the burn continues until a galaxy and a universe collide once more, to share their energy and renew the glow which moves every route to the heart.

crossing the line

		O my brother it`s the way of this world these are the laws that put you inside cant believe you`ll be gone for such a long time and I know your heart must be hard but don`t give up I`ll see you to light when you come out I`ll be here for you don`t let that cage destroy the love in you you have my heart, may it keep you strong o my little cousin don`t fall so far you were just a young boy without guidance then you did a crime and they put you away but here I am and here I will remain when you come out we can play I wont forget you and times that we had and I look forward to the times we will share these are the laws made for the rich when the poor, and struggling fight this is the hitch: If you cross over their line, they will find means to put you away to protect themselves from people whose lives they`ve stolen away every day they steal from you because you hunger, because you pain and when you decide to make your move they use the police and take your lives away according to the 13th amendment after your in bars you`re a legal slave don`t make the mistake of crossing that line don`t commit any of those crimes cause once you do, they own you and you have to pay with days of your life please o please walk the fine line I want you to fight but don`t commit a crime know the laws before you fight resist and struggle don`t give ammo to put you away But if they do find a way to put you behind bars where you might stay do the time, read some books when you come out they will give you a new look Here I am after restitution, I`ll be your friend, your family never forget you Here I am, I hope you`ll be back I look forward to when you`ll be here O from prison, hence you will come you will be a young man then, went in as a boy, and you`ll come out a man but if you cross that line again they`ll take you inside and keep you until you`re a granfather and lost your will Don`t do it my little cousin: don`t step in that trap, cause it will bite you. you played with fire, it`s a dangerous game I offer myself to be your helping hand I reach out and I will hold you but you also have to choose: will you be a free man or let them chain you Do you want to be a legal slave? Or do you want to be free in the light Don`t let those rich men decide your life never let them take your spirit to fight you have the power to be free